Duck Duck Cougar?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
