i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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