i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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