Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
