Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
