I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
