Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
id be glad to
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
