Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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