I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
