I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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