my soul wont recognize me after tonight
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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