I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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