i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
