Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
