i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
