I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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