Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
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Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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