I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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