it wasn't lemon gatorade
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
