where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize