White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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