sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
