I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i dont even know how to be here
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
