used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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