A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
