How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
