i just had sex bonerless
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
