why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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