I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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