THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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