I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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