there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
