Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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