dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm both gender and math confused
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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