Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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