Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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