My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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