Why are handjobs necessary in class?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
