Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She's the barista slut.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
