Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
