FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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