Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
