hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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