Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
