he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
