Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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