The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
