do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
