i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
