I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
