We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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