How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My hand turned me down
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
