you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
