And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
