i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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