she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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