I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
wow bdsm is so cute
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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