wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
