Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
