so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
cat food counts as protein by the way
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
