I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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