hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize