I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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