I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize