Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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